Are you ready, reader, to hear about another one of my funks? No? Too bad. You clicked on this blog, so you can click off. (I'm not suggesting you euphemistically "click off" only that... you know... you just close your browser window.)
So. My funkiness. I started this blog as a means to... let's see how I worded it: "keep myself publicly accountable to draw something every. single. day. It served that purpose quite well in that it bolstered my self-confidence and it got me drawing again.
Great. So what am I whining about?
Well, now that I'm all warmed up again I find myself aimless. It's fun to draw silly doodles every day but I find myself craving something more artistically nutritious. What do I do? Trying to answer this question has made me realize that I haven't shaken off as many of my own personal neuroses as I'd thought. I get really excited about an idea but the second I run into any difficultly I wilt and convince myself that whatever problem du jour it is that I'm facing, wouldn't be a problem if I was more skilled. The natural progression seems to be that, followed by a period where I draw nothing or nothing good for several days. I'll then produce something I like... get excited again... reject myself again. Lather, rinse, repeat. In the end, I just wind up angry.
If there is any wisdom at all to be gleaned from motivational posters everywhere is that's I should use that anger to fuel my forward progress! Yeah! Except my natural tendency is to retreat to the bathtub with a book and forget about the whole thing.
Tonight I decided to do something different. I'm an art history nerd; it was my minor in college. I have all manner of gorgeous art history books collecting dust in my office so I broke one out, flipped around a bit and decided to sketch Raphael's Alba Madonna.
I obviously didn't get into great detail. It was just an exercise to use a different part of my brain than the usual doofus, cartoony, gee-whiz section I usually tap into. I drew long enough to get through most of Elbow's new album (with which I'm currently enamored) and then called it a night.
I feel a little better now. Thanks for reading. Oh, and don't go and Google this painting because it's better you just pretend I did a really great job copying it.